December is almost upon us and that means the NFL is heating up as teams try to solidify their places in the coveted playoffs. What better way to condone terrible play or terrific heroics than to compare a few teams to web browsers?
Chrome: New England Patriots
The gold standard of domination. Chrome has has the lions share of the market for many years. The Patriots have been on top of the league since before I could code as well. Both find a way to win/perform well consistently and rarely have terrible games ( or feature releases ).
Firefox: Dallas Cowboys
Both Firefox and the Cowboys were once undisputed champs among their competitors back in the day, and both have been barely above average since then. We’re starting to see a resurgence in both though as Firefox has been steadily trying to clear away the bloat that has slown it down and the Cowboys clawing their way back to the top of the league with their dominating rookie duo of Quarterback Dak Prescott and Running Back Ezekiel Elliot.
Safari: Kansas City Chiefs
There always seems to be something that has been around forever but really hasn’t done anything but lurk in the shadows. That’s the link between the Safari web browser and the Kansas City Chiefs. Neither are bad, but neither have really amounted to anything other than mediocrity since their early days.
Opera: Miami Dolphins
Sometimes things just linger around for what seems like eternity in their current state. Opera is a small, lightweight browser that doesn’t really serve a purpose amongst the rest of the modern day competition. The Miami Dolphins have been an obscure football team for years with their lack of wins and big name superstars. Both have cult followings, and both will remain irrelevant for the foreseeable future.
Internet Explorer Edge: Jacksonville Jaguars
“You were the chosen one!” is a relevant catch phrase for these two. Microsoft rebranded and tweaked their Internet Explorer in to what was hyped up to be as the next big up and coming thing. The Jacksonville Jaguars had a plethora of young talent last year and many had them picked to contend for the playoffs this year. Alas, lacking cross-platform and extension support for Edge and having your young talent regress have put the hype machine to bed. Maybe a different motto should have been chosen: “Too good to be true”.
Internet Explore 8-11: Cleveland Browns
Terrible. Enough said.